Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
