I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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