I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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