I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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