When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry my hands just texted you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
