I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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