What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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