make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Green mimosas i think yes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
