you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I smell like Dick and happiness
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
