super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is my gift to your gina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
