:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we're making bets on your personal life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
