All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
