My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
