Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
