he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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