Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
