ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
