people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
