Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
