I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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