You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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