so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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