Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
