Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
