the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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