problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
