Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
