no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize