I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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