One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
