More tranny stories later!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
