I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
