Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
