thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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