mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
