she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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