Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
