You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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