apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
