She's JV to your varsity
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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