yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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