i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
