By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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