I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
