I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
