I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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