At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we're so committed to being not committed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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