okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
two words...techno handjob
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
