Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
