so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
