I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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