I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
