just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
