went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
