I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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