We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize