STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
