Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
