How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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