i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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