Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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