im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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