Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
