Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
