After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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